Barbershop Education 1962

I really wish my mother never had cut my big ear with her scissors. Just the tip of one on the left. I had only one extra-large ear that was not assaulted that summer. I decided to take a big ride downtown alone for the first time. 

My bicycle cruised easily across Route 29 from North Town. I had become a sidewalk speedster like most guys that were on a mission. Destination...Bob’s Barber Shop across from city hall. I leaned my bike carefully against the shop window...no kickstand. I walked inside the shop as if I had just tied my horse to a railing. I had a proud strut that hot summer afternoon. “Howdy guys,” I squeaked. Four old guys were hanging around just to visit. Old guys always hung around barbershops just to visit. They kinda lived there. Bob the barber asked if I’d like a haircut. I couldn’t believe he knew!  “Yep, a flattop,” I squealed in an extra high voice. “Well saddle up here cowboy,” said Bob.

Boom, I was in a real barber chair instead of a kitchen chair. Bob pumped the chair up about four feet as I recall. I could see in the mirror the tops of the old geezer’s white and uncut hair. I quickly appraised their ears for scissor wounds. Nope, not a one. We all introduced ourselves man to man. It was just a real dandy experience so far and I quit squeaking when I settled in the big man chair. 

I actually quit talking just so I could take in the new environment. My eyes fixed upon a very strange animal head mount on the wall directly in front of me. I stared at it for a few minutes but noticed that the old guys were staring at me staring at the animal head. “So, what is that thing?” I asked in a kind of cocky squeal. I thought my squeal was gone but it had suddenly appeared again. My face turned somewhat glowing red. Barber Bob in a very low and slow voice answered, “Well that’s a genuine Jackalope.” 

A little taken with the answer, I just continued to gawk. Tiny six inch deer antlers were growing out the head of the largest rabbit on earth!  “Where did you get that?!”  Squeaking even higher!!!  Bob then told me the truth. He told me his grandfather shot it in the Rocky Mountains in 1903. Bob explained in detail that it was a guided hunt expressly for that rare animal. The old guys verified the story quickly. One guy said that Jackalope were only found on the western slopes of the mountains and only at sunset. He said one had to be a quick and accurate shot because Jackalope would smell a human from a half mile away. The other guys chimed in with “Ain’t that the truth!!”  They all said that Jackalope grouped up in large herds of up to ten thousand but a hunter could not hear a herd because of the soft rabbit-like feet. I guessed it was the truth because I had never been to the Rocky Mountains at age ten. I paid my bill and thanked everyone in there for talking to me. I untied my bicycle and rode in a gallop feeling my flat top haircut slightly moving in the hot air. 

It was years later before I realized the barbershop guys didn’t mind telling a lie once in a while. That’s what my mother said anyway. I let mom cut my hair for a couple years more but I held my oversized ears while she was snipping on me.