Christmas Morning

Most real guys my age watched “The Rifle Man” starring Chuck Conners each week on TV. One of a dozen Wild West shows we were immersed in, but that show was special because of the twirling action of the lever action rifle putting down the bad guys. The opening scene was always Chuck fast shooting that rifle until it was empty, then he would twirl it around and look at us straight in the eyes as if saying, “You get out of line, and you’re Next!” He had our attention, and he knew it!!!!   

All the church bells were ringing on Christmas morning... really early like it was supposed to wake us up. Kids were up way earlier than the bells. Someone should tell the bell ringers to start the music at about 4am. Our parents were the ones sleeping not us kids. Geez !

Kids liked to peek into the living room from the bedroom door, and then when they were given the “okay” word from their mothers they would act surprised and yell nice words of joy and excitement just to fool mothers. Worked every time. 

After crawling over my sisters, I spied the rifle still in its wrapped box. I tore it open, and there it was!  The Rifle Man had even signed it on the stock. It was personal. Grabbing the rifle and heading to my room, I ran over the sisters again. I quickly changed into my old cowboy attire faster than Clark Kent ever did. The sun was up when I stepped out the backdoor, and immediately saw a dozen bad guys standing and staring at me with their hands on their pistols... Fools!  I was faster than the Rifle Man. I put them all down in 30 seconds. It was time to twirl the rifle!

I wish I had noticed the railing on the step. It was really cold out, and the rifle hit the railing on the first twirl. The plastic stock shattered into about six pieces in the snow. I picked them all up and went back inside, looking for the duct tape. Duct tape works fine on plastic stocks. I nonchalantly strolled back into the arena of joy and nice words. My sisters all laughed at my rifle. I just looked them in their swollen eyes and gave them that Rifle Man look and said, “You get out of line and you’re Next!”  They knew I meant business, too. The duct tape triggered a lot of kids in the future until I gave them the Rifle Man eye. I still walked proud, and that’s all that matters in the dangerous world of kiddom. 

Love your kids and love your neighbors. Don’t get out of line either!