I think that Easter Rabbit is a nut case! Glad it’s gone. Half the town is forced to eat egg salad for at least a week. The only good news is the baby poop has a stronger scent and richer color. Most older kids have moved on to more sophisticated adventures.

My two favorite idiot friends and I just came out of Bob’s barber shop wearing a fresh flattop glistening with thick butchwax. Walking past the Dress Shop, we checked out our new look in the huge glass window. We were looking great! Buttface was peering in a little longer than what was socially acceptable and I tried to pry his nose off the glass. He was embarrassing Crusty and me ( which seldom was ever achieved). Then I saw what he was looking at! Three stark naked women mannequin beauties were looking straight at us. Initially stunned, we then figured out how to open the store door. Door handles can be very confusing at a time such as that. We marched into what we thought was an empty store. For three wonderful minutes, it was. We caressed our own woman in new and exciting ways. Suddenly from the back of the room, we heard a voice in the darkness.” May we help you?”  That was code talk to ten-year-old guys which really meant, “Get out of here.”  We stood firm in a way. “Nope! Just looking thanks.” The woman told us to step back from our girlfriends. We did! She slowly walked up to us and pointed to a very dark corner. There we saw three other naked mannequins. “You boys can have those. They are old and needy.”

We grabbed our women and got the door handle to work on the 4th try. We put our women on our bike handlebars (their legs folded perfectly as if they were proud to be riding with us. Oh the joy! Car horns honked at us and we waved triumphantly through town.

The next morning someone came into my bedroom and abducted my new love... right from my bed. I think it was my mother. Stupid party phone lines ruined another romance!!!!!!!

Hug your kids and love your mannequins, while you can. Life is short!

– Nelly